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It is the best in terms of the number of boasts it manages to fit in such a small message: 1) Has a “corporate” job; 2) Is a fitness model; 3) Has folks that work for him; 4) Owns suits and ties; 5) Looks good shirtless (presumably).
Not to mention that he’s only writing me to draw attention to his shirtless fitness-modeling pictures, to let me know that he doesn’t want attention drawn to his shirtless fitness-modeling pictures. You can’t set this message up to questioning because opening that door will send you down an existentialist path from which you will never return. The Mediocre Finally, though I would be hard pressed to pinpoint and describe any of them among the mountains and mountains of filth I received while on Ok C, there were some nice messages.
Though this message is almost its own animal, a mixed-breed neg/cry for help/boast of sorts, I am categorizing it here because clearly this guy has been burned by tall girls before, and it couldn’t have less to do with me if it tried. Nothing spectacular, but how many spectacular first messages can there be in nature?
I actually have a roommate who is/was a standup comedian but I’ve never heard him and don’t find him particularly funny! ” Fine: This was before I realized that listing a Myers-Briggs personality type in a dating profile was gauche. (If you haven’t gotten the hint yet, online dating is creepy and terrifying.) Prior to Ok C, I never got the feeling that anyone who was being mean to me was laboring under the impression that doing so would give me a sudden and inexplicable desire to drop my pants.
A few precious gems were legitimately nice and pleasant, but their presence in my inbox was so minuscule as to hardly be noticeable. I think this is on the way out, but it’s lingering. I am interested in historical records on some of the most pressing matters of our time.
If I didn’t have corrective contact lenses, I wouldn’t have even been able to see them. But whatever, you get my point.) These messages were like these little lifesavers thrown out to me, a person who was drowning in a cesspool of filth and sewage water, only to be just as quickly cast aside because, even though they were nice enough, relatively speaking, the guys who sent them were fifty-two years old or were self-described “fitness models” or went by the user name “Lets Fck Around.”Look, I know it isn’t easy out there for dudes, either. So guys have some pressure—they’re the ones who have to “make a move” and then just wait while my friends and I gasp and laugh and email each other the complete garbage they’ve just sent us. I am interested in the grouping and analysis of small disasters.
A brief glance at my profile would have revealed that I’m not the type of person who enjoys shooting guns, rock climbing, or generally any activities in which something going wrong means that I die. I have folks that work for/with me and they are used to seeing me in my meetings with tie and suit and dont want them to know about the fitness side and shirtless pics online ahah” THIS IS THE BEST.
Plus, it mostly just sounds like he’s going to try to make off with my mall purchases when I’m not looking. Not in a real way, obviously—not in a way where I’d ever want to respond, or meet him.