Problems with dating a guy with kids
Be mindful that flexibility and patience are key qualities.On top of the daily woes we all face, moms have an additional load of it.Also, know that regardless of how involved the father is, he is part of her children's lives.You don't have to be bros with the biological father, but be prepared to deal with another man in your woman's life.Whether you were planning on it or not, you've fallen for a woman who has kids — now what? It takes a special man to build a relationship with someone who has children.
Not to contradict the point above, moms live a scheduled life and are rarely able to step outside of their daily routines.
Explain your boundaries to all parties, and KEEP THEM. I offered a ton of advice about what books to read. I have a ton of other thoughts about dating people with kids, but I want to hear YOUR advice now.
Give Advice Here's the thing about all kids: They will listen to another adult before they listen to their own parents. Then, over time, I took it to the next level and offered advice about school, friends, food, movies, girls, etc. I may find myself in a new relationship that involves children one day, so I need as much advice on this topic as I can get.
For example, my boyfriend was totally fine with letting his kid zone out in front of a Playstation for an entire Saturday afternoon. So it's up to you to point out that this makes you feel uncomfortable and is inappropriate. They practically beg me to take control of their kiddos at the restaurant. They're working, raising the kids, paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and are completely exhausted. I'm not saying you get to send them to their rooms or take away their phones. But sometimes they need to be told to CALM DOWN, STOP DOING THAT, ENOUGH! Because you aren't the parent, you get to do the easy disciplining, such as reminding them to eat over the plate because CRUMBS ARE GETTING EVERYWHERE, reminding them to go take a bath because it's bedtime already GEEZ HURRY UP, and hollering HEY STOP PULLING THE CAT'S TAIL when you hear the wee feline screech in pain. When you date someone who has a child, you're dating that child, too.
If this were "my kid," we would have been doing something else. Set the boundary with the boyfriend first -- in private. When they first started having babies, they freaked out if I told their toddlers, "No! Go Ahead and Fall in Love Let that child or children into your heart. Other people's children are such a blessing in my life, and I'm honestly very sad that I don't get to spend time with my ex-boyfriend's son anymore. One of the coolest things my cousin has ever done happened at her wedding.