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Filling out my profile is fast, and it asks about my hard drug use and tattoos. “Are you a flamboyantly tattooed athletic Ph D or an introspective vegan social drinker with three kids? The bad: It takes five days for my account to get approved, and there are only two guys between 25 and 35 in Washington state.

I broaden the search to 23 to 38, and a “23 year old male firemonkey” is several hours away, but I can’t contact him because he’s a paid member.

Now, no one else can see any information you send to us, keeping you and your data safe and sound.We look for mutually beneficial collaborations where our involvement adds value and helps create something meaningful.Our strategic partnerships enable us to gain competitive advantage through access to resources, markets, technologies, capital and people.The bizarre: One of the possible hobbies is “weather.” An extensive haircut section has over 30 options. The gist: Another site where non-paying members can only send brief, canned messages (one says “I like your profile, and would welcome further contact when you are divorced”). The good: Finally, one that doesn’t make my eyes bleed from its design.(I select “undetectable toupee.”) A solar aficionado is looking for “A Goddess that longs for her animal beast to ravage her and share that tender smooth touch in the pale moon light.” Verdict: I search for guys 25 to 35 in Seattle and get four results. One has been on the site in the past three months: a 33-year-old with a snake. (Instead, this one does it with quotes like “Make every day earth day” and shit about Nature painting miracles in the sky.) The bad: My search doesn’t turn up many potential matches, but there a shirtless guy showing off his Chinese-symbol bicep tattoo.

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