Dating someone recently separated
Since you don't have friends in common or weren't introduced through some other channel, it's not the end of the world if you just drop off the face of the earth.” “I, for one, consider myself to be an honest and straightforward person. And I’ve told myself, time and time again, that it’s all the fault of the toxic dating culture we’ve created. What if they are hurt and lying in a hospital bed somewhere? Maybe they are just a little busy and will be calling you at any moment.And at the end of the day, I think that’s what we’re all telling ourselves.” How does it feel to be ghosted? You move on, but not before your self-esteem takes a hit. You don’t know how to react because you don’t really know what has happened.When someone we love and trust disengages from us it feels like a very deep betrayal. One of the most insidious aspects of ghosting is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship you had, it causes you to question yourself. How could I have been such a poor judge of character? How do I protect myself from this ever happening again?This self-questioning is the result of basic psychological systems that are in place to monitor one’s social standing and relay that information back to the person via feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.Regardless of the ghoster’s intent, ghosting is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars. The important thing to remember is that when someone ghosts you, it says nothing about you or your worthiness for love and everything about the person doing the ghosting.It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don't understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care.
If you have known the person beyond more than a few dates then it can be even more traumatic. Social cues allow us to regulate our own behavior accordingly, but ghosting deprives you of these usual cues and can create a sense of emotional dysregulation where you feel out of control.In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you.Be the better person, retain your dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.Trust me, your friend is better off than spending years with a coward that takes her for granted. Ghosting is one the cruelest things one human being can do to another.When you've shared so much of yourself with a person, it's going to hurt that they no longer want you in their life.